Q. I recently took a job with a newspaper in a big-market city far from where my girlfriend lives. I love my job. It's terrific. The people, the atmosphere, and the market are all great.
On the personal front, it's been hard, but my girlfriend and I have managed to stay together for some time now, she with her temporary job in an unrelated field, me with my reporting job.
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I haven't told her, but I think I'm going to marry her.
Recently, though, she was informed that she'd have to go get a new job away from her current home, and it's likely it'll be in another state. But once she does, in her line of work there's a strong possibility she'll make double what I currently make.
I've told her that no matter what happens I have to put in at the very least two years at this paper before I go anywhere, and she understands the professional reasons why. But I'm worried about what happens next. I had a hard enough time figuring my career trajectory when I was single. How do editors view a change of location or a resume gap based on the spouse's career needs? Along the same lines, do editors allow for unorthodox job choices on that basis that may be still related to journalism but not the classic reporting job?
In my younger days, I was always worried that marriage would impede my career. Now I've waded a bit deeper into the pool and I'm worried I was right all along.
Any advice?
As always, I appreciate the column. It's a real public service.
Ready to PopA. Well, my first thought is that we should get you to propose on Poynter's Career Center. But, as your girlfriend is not a journalist, she might miss it, so we'll resist the temptation.
It can be tough to manage a two-career relationship, whether both, one or neither party is in journalism. It is just the world we live in.
And, as that is the world we live in, you have a lot of company. Many, many people are where they are -- they either moved there or stayed there -- for personal reasons that are at least as important as the professional ones. In fact, the happier people seem to be the ones who keep their personal relationships in order, even if that means compromising some professional goals.
So, this means that you will run into a lot of editors who understand what you're doing. Some won't of course, but a lot will.
The best long-range advice I can give is for both of you to aim your careers at markets that have multiple opportunities for both of you.
And if you ever want to announce an engagement in this column, well, we might be able do that, too.
Coming Thursday: A large east coast newspaper is interested in talking to this journalist in California about an internship -- but is insisting that he come in for an interview on his own dime.
...have been married for several years, with several of those...
