I've often helped friends get jobs at companies where I knew people, but what should I do when I want to keep an otherwise-qualified candidate from getting a job at my own news organization?
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I dated a reporter at another paper several years ago, before we married other people. By coincidence, we ended up at another paper together later on. Now I have moved on, but I heard my ex-friend is applying to my paper now. There is no danger of igniting another relationship; we both worked well together and acted with discretion at the last job, where no one knew we had dated (at least as far as I know). This would be a lateral job move for my ex-friend, who would fit in here. But we are a small shop, and it's likely I would bump into her a lot.
My spouse was patient at the last job when we worked together, because it was a great opportunity for me, but as far as a third time working together with my ex, my spouse has said, "That's enough." We trust each other, but I understand and honor the concerns, especially since my ex-friend is no longer married. Also, when she would not be working with me, per se, my ex would work with people who know me, and I worry about being a gossip topic.
The hiring person knows me well and trusts me and also knows of my work history with the applicant, and wants to know my thoughts. I don't want to divulge my relationship history, but how else can I convince him not to hire an otherwise-qualified candidate just on my say-so? I know I am a valued employee, and my spouse has indicated that I should leave the paper rather than work with this person again. Without any judgment on whether this is overreacting, is this something I should bring up? An "either-or" scenario?
I'm wondering how you would feel as a recruiter if a current employee had a strong personal reaction to an applicant, not connected with work abilities.
Thank you,
Third Time's No Charm
No, a third time would not be charming.
This is a complicated example of how a work relationship can go wrong, even though you have not done anything wrong.
Absolutely do not give your editor an ultimatum. It is probably not necessary and will make you look a little hysterical.
You might, however, after telling your spouse, call your ex-friend. Say, "Look, your application to my paper makes me feel very uncomfortable. I don't think we can work together again. In fact, if you are hired here, there is a good chance I will be in such an awkward position I will have to leave. I don't want to have quit my job over this, but I may have no choice. Please withdraw your application."
Based on your ex's reaction, there may be no need to talk with your editors.
Although it would seem insensitive, your ex-friend would have every right to go ahead with the application. If that seems likely, you could then talk to your editors. Say nothing negative and omit specifics: "I have nothing bad to say about this person's abilities, but we have a history that would make it very, very difficult for me if we were to work together again."
It would, in fact, be a disservice to your editors if you did not let them know that this hire would be very stressful for you.
The recruiter asks back: What do you think? Have you had to deal with this? Can you offer a better strategy?
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