She is a bright young newsroom manager. She’s worried.
"How do I connect with my boss," she asks me earnestly, " when we have nothing in common? He’s older; I’m younger. He’s male; I’m female. He’s white; I’m black. He’s married; I’m single. He has kids; I don’t."
Our discussion is taking place at NABJ in Orlando, after a newsroom leadership workshop I’ve helped teach. I think this woman has real leadership potential--and I’m happy to help her strengthen her relationship with her manager.
So far, she has recognized one set of things that help people understand and support one another: shared life experiences. But even when people are born of differing generations, gender, and ethnicity, even when they’ve never truly walked on one another’s shoes, they can build important bridges. As an employee, it is in her best interest to invest in such a construction project with the person who hired her.
I ask to borrow her notebook and write a list of words on it:
- Passion
- Vision
- Hot Button
- Pressure
- Pride
- Values
I give the list to her and ask if she can answer these questions:
- What’s your manager’s passion?
- What’s your manager’s vision for the newsroom?
- What’s your manager’s hot button, something that he just can’t abide in the newsroom?
- What kind of pressure is your boss under these days?
- What makes your boss proud?
- What are the values your manager embraces?
She looks at the list and realizes she has guesses--but lacks definitive answers to those questions. She and the boss are just getting to know each other and haven’t had deep conversations.
We talk about how important it is for her to acquire this knowledge--and soon. It will help her to help him. It will enable her to align her goals with his, to frame her issues and ideas so they "velcro" to his vision for the newsroom. It will help her understand his behaviors and decisions, his priorities and frustrations.
And then I suggest to her that she has another task: to make certain that he could answer each of those questions about her if the same list were handed to him. She needs to give him every opportunity to know her well.
Her assignment is clear--and it applies to all of us. When we can’t seem to find common ground with others, it’s time to try digging beneath the surface. The effort may help us find buried treasure: shared vision, shared values, and the chance to build a powerful working relationship.
